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Raptor Ranch [aka The Dinosaur Experiment] (2013) is a sci-fi/horror comedy film directed by Danny Bishop for Nu Imagination. Screenplay by Danny Bishop, Shlomo May-Zur and Will Raee. Starring Jana Mashonee and Lorenzo Lamas; with Cole Brown, Danny Boaz, Cody Vaughan, Lexy Hulme, Kimberly Matula, Jack Gould.

A modern day Texas community is overrun by vicious prehistoric velociraptors that obviously did not get the memo about being extinct. A group of lost college students and a hot local Native American chick try to survive the raptor onslaught at Fossil Ridge. They’re not just raising cattle in Texas. They’re raising 70 million years of prehistoric terror. Move over Jurassic Park; here comes Raptor Ranch! Yee-Haa!

90 minutes. Watch the trailer [Raptor Ranch] here …

Watch the trailer [The Dinosaur Experiment] (here).

Film links: website/Facebook

My thoughts… Raptor Ranch (or The Dinosaur Experiment, if you prefer) is one of my favorite post-Jurassic Park III dinosaur B-movies! In Fossil Ridge, Texas, a reclusive old rancher has created and raised several species of dinosaurs including velociraptors, megalosaurs and a T-Rex. When a trio of college students breaks down near town and accidentally sets the dinosaurs free, Abbi Whitecloud, a local waitress and aspiring singer, is forced into a struggle for her own survival. Raptor Ranch is incredibly stupid, especially when Abbi and two soon-to-be-smushed survivors retreat to an abandoned factory near the end, but, until then, it’s also incredibly fun – and funny! Or maybe I like this movie so much because I fell in love with Native American actress/singer Jana Mashonee as Abbi Whitecloud! Abbi is stunningly beautiful and looks amazing in (1) the boy short undies she wakes in at the beginning of the movie, (2) the skimpy uniform that her lecherous boss forces her to wear, and (3) the tight blue jeans and tank top she wears throughout most of the film as she fights for her survival! Abbi is also a skilled bow hunter and, as such, she is badder than Katniss Everdeen ever was! Oh, and Jana Mashonee has a deep, soulful singing voice that can be heard in her songs that play over the end credits! Mashonee is, quite simply, a Native American goddess! However, there is, in fact, more to like about Raptor Ranch

Lexy Hulme is hysterical as goth girl Kolin, the drummer for a performing trio who get stranded in Fossil Ridge with the college students. Kolin slowly loses her grip on reality and slips into comic madness! Sadly, she is one those two survivors who gets smushed by the blue megalosaur at the abandoned factory! “They’re not sure about the color!” Kolin reads from a book on dinosaurs. “Oh, until now!” she adds. College student Lucas sums up both Abbi and Kolin quite nicely when he tries to convince his friend Sheldon to leave the store with him against Abbi’s protest: “You gonna listen to Robo-Bitch here or Manson, party of one?” Lucas, of course, gets eaten once he steps outside the door!

Raptor Ranch tosses out a few comic nods to the original Jurassic Park and the extended sequence of the T-Rex attacking the tour bus is very cool but, as with any of these kinds of B-movies, you have to take the good with the bad, like the dumb finale in the abandoned factory and …

Lorenzo Lamas did not need to be in this movie. He is there, apparently, only for his name – after the fact. He plays Logan, an FBI agent investigating mysterious deaths in Fossil Ridge. However, he and the other characters in his few scenes never appear together with Jana Mashonee or any of the other characters in her scenes. In fact, in the end, Logan is shown escorting Abbi [presumably] to a car to avoid the press but she is never even shown! If Danny Bishop nixed the Lamas scenes, kept the action within the city limits of Fossil Ridge, and allowed, at least, Kolin to survive, Raptor Ranch could have been a whole lot better!

However, Jana Mashonee makes it all worth while anyway!

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Read part two of my post about cute girls and dinosaur movies, including Raptor Ranch, on MHE (here).

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