Trees 2: The Root of All Evil (2004) is a Christmas-themed horror film directed by Michael V. Pleckaitis for Pioneer Motion Pictures. Written by Michael V. Pleckaitis and Jim Lawter. Starring Kevin McCauley, Philip Gardiner, Mary Ann Nilan, Brandi Lynn Coppock, and Ron Palillo as “Dougie Styles”. Sequel to Trees (2000).

Having already faced the Great White Pine in Trees, Ranger Cody is now faced with the task of battling an entire feeding frenzy of genetically-enhanced trees created by the government.

101 minutes. Watch the trailers for Trees 2 and Trees here …

My thoughts… Trees 2: The Root of All Evil is an example of a movie that is so bad it’s good! Some might consider ThanksKilling one of those movies but they’d be wrong because ThanksKilling is genuinely funny! Trees 2 is the sequel to Trees which I haven’t seen. I stumbled upon Trees 2 as I was searching for Christmas-themed horror films and couldn’t resist. Trees, apparently, is a scene-for-scene parody of Jaws (1975) which is evidenced clearly by the clips in the trailer above. Of course, the three main characters’ names make it even more obvious: Sheriff Cody [Sheriff Brody], botanist Max Cooper [oceanographer Matt Hooper] and lumberjack Squint [Captain Quint]! Anyway, in Trees 2, Hazelville is besieged by an army of killer Christmas trees making this film a precursor to the much, much better short film Treevenge (2008). These killer trees, however, look like bear-sized spiders! Ron Palillo plays Dougie Styles, a rich douchbag who doesn’t like his blind daughter Darla (Trish Dunn) much but loves Cody’s wife Helen (Mary Ann Nilan) very much! Palillo is best known as sweathog Arnold Horshack from TV’s Welcome Back, Kotter (1975-79), the sitcom that also gave us John Travolta. Palillo probably thought that Trees 2 would be his Pulp Fiction (1994)! Darla, by the way, is cured of her blindness when chlorine gets in her eyes! The best scene, however, is when botanist Max Cooper (Philip Gardiner) and Agent Bentley (Brandi Lynn Coppock) of the NSF (National Forestry Service) take refuge at the local high school. They dive into the swimming pool to escape from a killer tree but the tree dives in after them. Bentley gets out but realizes that Cooper is caught in the trees’ branches under the water. So, she takes off her already wet shirt, for no apparent reason, and dives back in to rescue him! But, that’s not even the best part! Cut to the locker room where they’ve gone to find dry clothes. Cooper puts on a football uniform, while Agent Bentley puts on a cheerleader uniform. Yeah, a skimpy cheerleader uniform – in winter at a ski resort town! Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!!

I couldn’t find Trees 2 anywhere to watch legally, so I had to watch the film on Youtube in 10 parts with 3 British kids talking over it, MST3K-style! You can watch it, too, here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10. Or you can just read this lengthy synopsis (here) instead!