Bloodsucka Jones (2014) is a horror/comedy film written & directed by Justin Armao for The Nitwit Consortium. Starring Preston Gant, Maria Canapino, Justin Armao, Travis Woods, Jessica Dercks, Matt Kelly, William Cutting, Erin Holt, Andy Cauble, Justin Henry, and Duncan Tran.
David (Justin Armao) just met Christine (Jessica Dercks), the girl of his dreams, but the thing is – she’s a vampire. Unfortunately, Christine’s brother Stewart (Matt Kelly) and his pop-collared goons, Kenny (William Cutting) and Heather (Erin Holt), aren’t big fans of Christine’s new boyfriend. David quickly hires Tony (Travis Woods), the best vampire hunter in his zip code, to straighten things out.
Along the way, David and Tony will encounter an army of vampires, foul-mouthed kids, a gian man-bunny, a lovely hobo, a mime, gallons of blood, a cool-as-ice comic shop owner – and a legendary sword. When it looks like our heroes have bitten off more than they can chew, a comic book legend, Bloodsucka Jones (Preston Grant) and his trusty sidekick Vanessa (Maria Canapino) swoop in to train Tony and David how to kill vampires, get the ladies and save the world.
Not rated. 103 minutes. Watch the full movie here…
Watch the trailer (here).
Bloodsucka Jones vs. The Creeping Death (2017), the sequel to Bloodsucka Jones, was financed via an Indiegogo crowd-funding campaign (here) and is currently in post-production. Watch the trailer (here).
My thoughts… “Gorgeous girls, graphic violence, kids cursing, severed heads, kicking, screaming, laughing, bad language, Kung Fu, blood, boobs, babes, heavy metal, punk, vampires, death, destruction, hugs, kisses, and gratuitous everything. No it’s not Shakespeare it’s the best fucking movie ever!” They say it’s like Black Dynamite meets The Lost Boys. Yeah, it definitely kind of is! Bloodsucka Jones is an awesomely good bad movie! The bad, of course, is intentional but, the truth is, that this indie horror/comedy is so good it’s not even bad at all! Bloodsucka Jones is sometimes hysterically funny and almost always delightfully charming – in an ameteur kind of way! Everybody involved in this movie is all part of that charm but… Bloodsucka’s silent but deadly Filipino sidekick Vanessa (Maria Canapino) and David’s super sweet vampire girlfriend Christine (Jessica Dercks) are both soooo adorable as are all the pillow fighters, bikini car wash girls, pick-up girls, hoodie vampires, and vampire chicks! If you like good bad movies like Blood on the Highway, The Return of Johnny V, Cheerleader Ninjas, or the Ninjas vs series, then Bloodsucka Jones is your next favorite movie!
My favorite scene, by the way, is when David meets Christine on the basketball court. I was hooked instantly by its charm! Ooh, and I love Vanessa’s final (sexy) showdown with the vampire girl who has a similar fashion sense! Check out this gallery of behind-the-scenes photos of that particular scene here …
Watch Bloodsucka Jones totally free on YouTube. Then, after its awesomeness entrances you, buy the DVD (with 4 hours of extras!) on Amazon! I did! Now, I can’t wait for the sequel! It’s looking even better!
More Vanessa, please!